While running to my local specialist computer games shop last week (past a gruesome looking woman who had apparently just had Face lift surgery ,), someone shouted “Run forest, run!” This is not unusual. After having got a close friend to video-tape me running (this was after the first time someone had shouted the aforementioned thing and I was arguing with my friend, telling him I did not run in any way like Forest Gump) I have to admit that I do run exactly like Forest Gump. Now, of course there are worse people you could run like (nobody wants to be likened to a baboon, for example, or Geoffrey Archer–one and the same thing perhaps?), but still, it hurts when every time you break in to a sprint you get this shouted at you.

So this time I stopped, put my hands on my hips in a macho style, and walked calmly back to the shouting abuser. As I approached the fifteen feet away mark, however, I noticed that he was much younger and much taller than me: a highly embarrassing combination that would surely seal my fate as a complete idiot if I did choose to confront him. So there was that awkward moment: me pretending I had come back to look for loose change, and him gloating because he knew I was bricking it. And then, without finding my imaginary change, I walked away.

My advice, if you play too many computer games and can’t really handle yourself, is to just ignore people who shout at you. Stick to the gaming, that’s much safer.